Sebastian Munch

Mummy seems to think I'm better and should go back to work tomorrow. The whole world is plotting against me and I don't deserve it!

i hate youall!!!

but blythe and charis and daphne and pansy and the purehalf of tracey are my favourits


no one understands me




i think i am going to be

sick



has anyone seen desmond

[Slytherins]

Would one of you do me a favor? I need to become TERRIBLY injured.

Millicent, I feel like I can count on you to help me out here. Perhaps you could hit me with some bricks or something?

[Private]

Ways to get out of SLAVE LABOUR

1. Become gravely ill.

PROs:
- Mummy will take care of me
- Will get out of having to work for a while
CONs:
- Could be difficult to get sick with my healthy immune system
- Would probably get over it too quickly and have to go back to work too soon
- Would feel icky.

2. Become gravely injured

PROs:
- Mummy will take care of me
- Would take longer to recover
- Easier to do, just throw self down stairs or similar
CONs:
- Would hurt

3. Run away to Brazil

PROs:
- Would not have to work ever again
- Get to see Brazil
CONs:
- No mummy
- No money
- Cannot survive on own

4. Refuse to do it

PROs:
- Would not have to do it
CONs:
- Would get wand taken away

5. Incite an uprising

PROs:
- End the injustice in decisive way
CONs:
- Unsure how one incites riots (fliers?)
- Could be messy

Grave injury wins, then.

THIS IS THE WORST THING EVER

I WANT TO DIE

I AM NOT MEANT FOR MANUAL LABOUR ESPECIALLY OUTSIDE

I AM GOING TO GET FRECKLES AND MY HAIR IS GOING TO GET ALL DRY AND GROSS

AND I AM NOT GOING TO GET UP EARLY DURING THE SUMMER!

I REFUSE TO DO THIS!!!!

WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

I'm not entirely sure I believe everything that everyone's saying! Mummy says people are prone to EXAGGERATIONS. She also told me that students cannot die at Hogwarts! Perhaps some of you are under spells or something, it would make much more sense. Remember when the Carrows put all those corpses up and it turned out those people weren't dead? I'm not going to be fooled again!

Anyway, are we going back to school tomorrow?

[Private to Slytherins]

I have chosen not to eat. I am, as Mummy says, "on a hunger strike." I'm not STARVING though, don't worry. I'm just not eating where I can see ROTTING CORPSES. It is DOES NOT make for a pleasant dining experience AT ALL! Of course, how could we expect the Carrows to know anything about that? They probably DO enjoy eating people.

Today is my birthday! I'm of age now! However, I'm quite disappointed. I don't feel any different, for one thing. For another thing, I would like to go home. Mummy says she has quite the present for me there. I wonder what it could possibly be!

Poor owls.

So what if I like owls more than muggles? At least owls are magical! Can't we kill badgers or something less useful? Dormice are fun to kill!

Also, I DO hope no one else is plotting to push any MORE Slytherin girls down the stairs. OR Slytherin blokes, for that matter! HOWEVER, I think this can all be blamed on ONE person!

MY, wasn't last night EVENTFUL? There was QUITE a lot more VIOLENCE than I was expecting! However, I managed to avoid it. I would not like for my face to get RUINED like Gus's.

As LOVELY as Hogwarts is, though, I do believe I wouldn't MIND staying here with mummy and daddy until the Carrows are gone. for a WHILE LONGER. Mummy even said she would look into getting me a crup!

I'm not actually SURE what my father does, but he definitely does not work at the Ministry. I don't think he wants me to know what it is he does, either, come to think of it. It has something to do with money, I think. I'm sure those of you who have to go to work tomorrow will have a LOT of FUN, though! I will just be RELAXING at HOME.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH this is BRILLIANT!

That's why I never use wards, you just can't trust them. It's better just to write what you're thinking to everyone.

I don't want to read anymore SMUTTY stories, though, thanks.

I BROKE MY FOOT ON THOSE STAIRS. The pain was almost UNBEARABLE, but Madame Pomfrey did what she could. HOWEVER IT STILL HURTS VERY BADLY. I'm afraid I MAY have to miss some classes for the rest of the WEEK. Would anyone mind getting me some FOOD, please? I don't think I can make it ALL the way to the Great Hall. Thank you! My mother would be very distressed if I STARVED to DEATH.

MY Muggle Studies story is BRILLIANT. I expect I'll be one of the people who gets to read theirs aloud this week. I wonder if I'll get extra credit. I have not one or two, but TEN Mudblood murders in it. It's my FAVORITE assignment so far! Would anyone like to proofread it for me?

Also, I think I'd like a krup. Mummy never let me have a pet before, though. I ACCIDENTALLY killed one of her rabbits when I was younger and she said I couldn't ever have one. I didn't mind until I found out that krups can EAT mudbloods. And you lot think JARVEYS are so special!

Would anyone like a hug? I feel like a cuddle. I wouldn't even mind spooning a bit! Even blokes, if you're into that sort of thing. Oh and Purebloods only, of course. I don't touch people with dirty blood.

Hogsmeade yesterday was great, especially after such a nice week! Too bad it wasn't so good for SOME people, especially those who couldn't even GO. I got to bring ALL of my stuff back too, UNLIKE most of you. I'VE got lots of sweets and other nice things. I MIGHT share them with other Slytherins IF they ask nicely and have nice hair.

Speaking of nice hair, has anyone noticed that (besides the gingery freaks) Slytherins have BY FAR the nicest collective hair then the rest of the houses. I wonder what that SAYS about us?

Oh and I got the money I won over the Quidditch match yesterday, too, just in time! The bloke wasn't going to give it to me because of some RIDICULOUS technicality about the ending, but my father reasoned with him. Honestly, why are bookies such low-lifes? It really puts some people off!

Probing people might be very necessary, but I can't deny that it's also very enjoyable! I believe that's what they call a win-win situation.

Daphne, I probed that annoying Hufflepuff for you!

I've also gotten rather good at the Imperius curse.

It has been a very good week. Pity others can't be as fortunate. I suppose some of them bring it upon themselves, though. Then again, it's also a pity some people are gingers.

I'm really tired of hearing about all your assignments. It's very boring. Write something interesting! There's a reason I only take three classes! One of which is to avoid boredom.

( This confession has meant nothing )